In my spiritual group, based around the teachings of Ernest Holmes, we always talk about “we are one” or “there is only one thing going on” as a way to define how we are all part of the same expression of God. Yet, all around me I see evidence of “we” and “them” in my world. For example, I can count with the fingers in both hands the times I’ve been in conversations this year where the immediate assumption is expressed of a world where there is an US and a THEM. I was just at a training where the presenter shows a video in which the other political side is demonized. No one batted an eye. Out the window went the baby and the water, for nowhere can one truly find this “we all are one” everyone talks about. It just seems so much easier spewing the US/THEM narrative we all are so used to being fed. This is where I am eternally grateful to have grown up in NYC in the 80’s and now live in Virginia. These two worlds could not be more different, yet, I feel I’ve been was gifted with a 360 degree perspective of this “supposed” US/THEM mentality from both sides and one thing I DO know from this experience is that they are both exactly the same!! I truly believe both sides of any binary is the same. Yes, two sides, but the same coin.
This might seem shocking but THEY ARE; Democrats and Republicans are the same reflection of one another, the parts that differ from one another are mere semantics. When I lived in NYC the people I was surrounded by believed to their very core that Republicans were all sorts of bad. Now, while living in Virginia, I have met many Republicans who also believe the same about Democrats. I am happy to report, none are right about the other. Both are loving, caring, impassioned, creative, understanding and every other positive trait that one can think of. So when I do hear US/THEM talk the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. As someone who has experienced beauty on both sides, on all sides, I would love to propose an alternative to this belief.
What if we used a big fat pink mind eraser for a second and just erased all the lines? I’m not proposing erasing the very things which make us who we are, no, that will not be good at all. Instead, I am proposing erasing the boxes, the separating lines, in which we feel we need to sit in or between, to define ourselves. More importantly, we should aim to erase the lines we use to define others. I am a huge believer of the “tribe of one”. I practice this belief and worldview daily; seeing everyone I meet as their own tribe, not a democrat, not a republican, not a this or a that, just the human before me. I drop the labels and do my best to let the individual before me present themselves however it is they feel the need to be, and allowing that under light and love and understanding. I call this practice, “allow”. In allowing you remain open and receptive and nonjudgemental to the human before you, you say yes, yes, yes, and yes to every expression they bring forth. For example, I am Miriam, I am a tribe of one, just like you. Yes, I may be Latina, but to JUST define me this way limits me greatly. To define me as a mother, limits me greatly, to define me as a marathoner, limits me greatly. I am so much more than my labels can contain; labels restrict growth, labels restrict change, labels restrict learning, and restrict the ease of metamorphic movement into new ways of thinking. Labels is the epitome of stagnation and close-mindedness.
MOST importantly, labels keep us distanced from one another. Labels are literal walls which keep us all from truly seeing each other as we truly are. In my life, I’ve noticed how it’s easy to be of one political party and completely dismiss, within mili-seconds, the human being before you simply because they are of the opposite party, in essence, completely dehumanizing another human, essence erasing them and the divinity they bring to the table….all in a seconds….. I dare you, next time you meet someone of the opposite (insert label here), to try your best to meet the human before you FIRST, meet the tribe of one before you FIRST. Don’t allow any need to define to overtake the interaction and see how that feels. Remember, none other like them exists on this universe and as tough as it might be to think of them this way, they too are an expression of God. Now that is revolutionary! that is what true practicing ,“seeing all of humanity as ONE” looks like. I must admit, I rarely experience that, even in spiritual circles, but when I do, It’s a rare treat to experience. The energy one gets from an all loving human is quite different from any other, but again, it’s rare.
Perhaps that is why they call our spirituality a “practice”; one really has to place effort into this way of thinking. It’s tough because the entire world is poised to uphold a world of binaries. Good -bad, republican-democrat, etc. It does not help that we are fearful people by nature and it’s soooo easy to manipulate us to hate and fear one another for our own supposed survival. YES, Initially, it might feel unnatural to think outside the binary, but we must be brave and fearless and trust, have faith that what we know to be true about the nature and power of love is more true than what we are told to think about each other. The person before you, no matter their beliefs, is JUST as sacred as you. Now let’s practice that? but what does that even look like? I can only speak from my own experience, so here it goes.
I practice that by having genuine one-to-one interactions with everyone I meet. We must put aside the mental chatter with which we have been taught to think about one another if we aim to truly lead a spiritual life. I practice this by coming to all interactions with love and most importantly self-love. I know this may sound odd, but how many times have we met someone who is not right with themselves only to experience it very tough to be around them? It’s tough to be around people who don’t love themselves. So yes, absolutely walk into every space with kindness and love to yourself first and foremost. A great example of this in my life is found in my friendships. Every-single-girlfriend who I enjoy being around is super comfortable with herself. She brings this self-comfort and self-love everywhere she goes, to every interaction and energetically this behavior allows me, and allows everyone she meets, to be our genuine selves too. Self love is the gift we give ourselves AND OTHERS.
Another aspect of my practice is letting go of labels. Yes, I am a Latina, yes, I am bi, yes, I am a teacher, yes, I am a product of a single mother, yes, I speak Spanish, yes, I am an artist, but none of these things can contain the complex amazingness that makes me, me. In overly attaching myself to these labels I also send off a strong signal to others, “Choose a side” is the main message these labels communicate. So yes, labels allow some to feel welcomed into your world, but the same amount of people will be walled off; why would I want to exclude anyone?, especially before I even know them?, and based on what? some vague label? fear? We have to stop believing so strongly in labels, they tell us nothing true about anyone and it’s a lazy person’s way of investigating what someone is all about….do the leg work, get to know the tribe of one before you. Walk into the interaction with zero expectations, openness, fearlessness, bring your heart and genuine self-love and all will be fine. Doing anything other than that is a deliberate choice to not to see the ONE before you.