This past week I found a pure treasure on YouTube. Apparently, one of my favorite comedians, Bill Burr, has this pseudo advice vlog on YouTube and it’s just awesomely gross and inappropriately hilarious. Basically all the things you’d expect from a self-professed man’s man. How has such a treasure of a show been able to continue airing on legacy social media sites, despite the current state of cancel culture, is beyond me, but man, I'm loving it. These past two-three years have been so serious that I had forgotten what it feels like to just laugh out loud.
I should also take this opportunity to also confess that I am also a HUGE, huge fan of Louis C.K. whose expert comedy continues to live rent-free in my head, even years later. Cancel culture did dent his career for some time but glad to see he’s making a comeback. Reflecting on these comedians and why I so love (and need) their work so much has made me realize three things about myself. One, I am a free speech absolutist. Two, I am a classic liberal. Three, I am not a a feminist.
Free speech is so foundational to our human growth; without it we have fear, which brings about this awful experience called “self-sensor”, which feeds the proliferation of cancel culture which lead us to more and more authoritarian measures. Long story short, nothing good can come from censoring of speech. Ensuring that the person, whose ideology you disagree with, enjoys the same rights as you, will ensure we all can express ourselves equally, always. Terrifyingly, the measures required to align us all to say and think the same way would be a nightmare world.
Growing up in NYC in the late 80’s, I have classical liberalism in my soul. I will always fight for your right to hold a different view than me and to coexist, no problem! Expanding our world-view to allow for diversity of thought and diversity of world-views cancels out any authoritarian measures which surely would flourish the instant only one ideology is allowed to proliferate.
I have always thought myself a feminist. Decades of never questioning this whatsoever. I went to an all girls’ high school, Marymount School of NY, then, I attended an all-women’s college, Smith College in Northwestern Mass. Of course, all Ive ver heard is that being a feminist is positive and liberated women call themselves feminists. But the key lies in the definition. Once you analyze what this label means to you you can more clearly assess its usefulness in your life. As I aged into middle-age I adopted Science of Mind principles combined with a tinge of Buddhist philosophy. More importantly, I married a man and had a son. My life shifted, so did my views. The lens of my world-viewer shifted dramatically to include these beings, I knew and loved, as kind and giving and just as complex human as us women. All of the sudden I saw how harmful holding these overly-simplistic and dualistic narratives are for both genders, for our growth, our happiness and our peace. I found that they do not serve to bring anything positive to my life, and so off they went.
Today, I simply aim TO BE FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN and work very hard to never position myself as “FIGHTING” a battle for or against anything or put myself in a box of any kind. All fighting is essentially the same thing, it does not bring me joy, peace or calmness. Also, the act of fighting itself is dualistic and forceful; I wanted life to be effortless and the words “fighting” and “effortless” do not together well. So today, I actively define things for myself, I choose and pick what brings me joy and will most often choose to leave things undefined and messy as I focus on them. Life is so much more beautiful left in its complex and messy form.